Holidays in sight? Feelings on the way!

Whatever holidays are coming your way, be ready for lots of feelings!

November and December bring us an assortment of holidays. Time to gather with family and friends, enjoy and create family traditions, and perhaps engage in some gift-giving and getting. But no matter what lovely memories come out of these celebrations, November and December (ok, January also) bring with them many feelings. Some comfortable, others, not so much.

Often, no matter how hard we try, holiday times can be stressful. Our children’s schedules change. Travel plans may need to be made and/or modified. Shopping looms large. And then, there’s always planning, shopping for, and executing some extra cooking. Relatives coming? Time to clean and organize! How did I not remember that the Christmas tree stand leaked last year and I had planned to replace it last January?? Now they are sold out. Yep – the holidays are here…

Of course, our students and children feel uncomfortable feelings during the holiday season as well. While our go-to may be to suggest strategies to alleviate the size of uncomfortable feelings, I think it’s also important to help students explore their discomfort, not just aim for a quick exit. After all, some uncomfortable feelings stick around for a while (like the frustrations and worry in the face of COVID) so thinking, sketching and talking about discomfort with children builds their ability to think about emotions and themselves a bit more deeply. And making connections between their feelings and those of others (even characters in animated videos!) helps expand overall understanding. Especially when students are beginning this process of familiarizing themselves with discomfort – be it sadness, anger, or worry.

When we help students understand the link between thoughts and feelings, we can use the idea of “cool thoughts” (which lower feeling size) and “hot thoughts” (which raise feeling size,) we are working with the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy framework. I love using the books from Magination Press, such as What to Do When Your Temper Flares and What to Do when You Worry Too Much in this work. Great workbooks to use in our sessions or recommend to parents. I usually pair them with my Feeling Fixers and Feeling Trackers – materials that can be manipulated and provide additional visual supports as we work to build emotional understanding.

Sometimes, students aren’t quite ready to talk about their own uncomfortable feelings, and that’s okay! Start with great animations to build their understanding and comfort level. YouCue Feelings has lots of activities for this work, but here are ideas you can experiment with immediately:

1. Choose a favorite animation and let students track the character’s feelings as they change. I use a Feeling Tracker and narrow painter’s tape, which is so easy to work with. Here’s an example using Soar by Alyce Tzue:

We tracked Mara's feelings to show how much they vary. Then you have material to discuss.

2. Does your student have a passion? Use it! Here is an example of giving Jimmy G. of the SF 49ers cool thoughts to bring down his worry:

This student loves Jimmy G. We found a worry for him and then brainstormed ideas to help him feel better.

3. Are your students ready to talk about themselves? Pairing the Feeling Tracker with a sketch provides additional visual support for feeling size. Here’s a student illustration:

This student illustrated how she got very upset with her dad and kicked him. Her accurate identification of feeling size (big!) let us discuss details of what happened.

4. Ready to add another step for students discussing their uncomfortable feelings? Combining a Feeling Tracker with Feeling Fixers helps bridge to internalized cool thoughts:

First, we identified this student's thoughts and feelings. Then, we used Feeling Fixers to discuss what she might think ("I can handle this", "Everything will be okay") to make her feelings of anxiety lessen. Taking photos and sharing with parents helped!

For the month of December, visit my shop to check out various product bundles, all focusing on building emotional understanding.

All this being said, I hope your feelings of joy and peace by far surpass your uncomfortable feelings, and that your holiday experiences create wonderful memories!